Recent studies have proven that kids have a tough time dealing with divorce. Unfortunately, there are no statistics on children of parents who stay in marriages that are failing. It is difficult to separate the emotional fallout of the divorce from the factors that caused the divorce in the first place. In other words, these kids may not be responding to the divorce per se, but rather the acrimony between their parents. This animosity would remain a present factor in their lives until the parents separated. So, concluding that children who struggle through divorces have worse mental health outcomes and tend to suffer from anxiety and depression more frequently than children of married couples comes short of proving that divorce itself is the problem. In fact, it may indicate that divorce is a solution.
There may be two stories in every newspaper article — the story that is told and the story that is left out. In this case, we have trained scientists testing children who have gone through divorce. However, they are not testing the children prior to the divorce and then after the parents have separated. So we really cannot say that divorce causes children to have poorer mental health outcomes. We can only say that being around parents who constantly fight or want to split up will cause mental health problems.
No one divorces expecting their life is going to be worse because of the move. However, it is stressful, even for the children. Children do not like major changes in their lives. Any major change is likely to cause some psychological distress. However, in cases where the situation at home is already stressful, there is at least some incentive to change. The older a child is, the more likely they are to understand your reasoning. You are trying to make your life and the lives of your children better by moving forward with your life. While it will be difficult, subjecting your children to constant bickering, arguing, screaming matches, and high-conflict exchanges will also harm their mental health. Ultimately, some children will resist the change, afraid that the new normal will be worse than the old one. However, divorce likely improves the mental health of children in high-conflict households and parents need to remember to contextualize the studies that focus on children of divorce. They are not focusing on children of high-conflict marriages. They are only analyzing children who come from divorced households.
In other words, if spouses in a high-conflict marriage agree to stay together for the sake of the children, we do not have statistics on how much better or worse they do. Chances are good that the environment is calmer and safer after the divorce than it was during or before. In other words, you did protect your children’s mental health by pursuing the divorce.
Andrea Heckman represents the interests of Chicago residents seeking a divorce. Call now to schedule an appointment, and we can begin discussing your post-divorce goals immediately.
Walked in just for consultation, and in less than 45 days, my case was closed! Thanks to attorney Andrea Heckman, with all her passion and professional manner! Couldn’t be happier! Thank you so much for everything! Great attorney for all family needs! Thank you.
From the moment I walked in as a client to the end when everything was complete, I was very pleased with attorney Andrea Heckman, her knowledge, and professionalism! Her whole staff was always helpful. I would use them again if needed and refer them to everyone I know! Thank you.
Andrea Heckman has been my attorney helping/guiding/advocating for my children and I regarding my custody situation. We are in the process of working towards a more equal parenting schedule, and I have faith in her efforts and expertise to accomplish this.
I have used this office since 2018 and have nothing but excellent things to say. Andrea Heckman handled my divorce with no faults. Andrea is currently handling my child custody case and has been on top of everything! Andrea Heckman is an unstoppable force, and I would recommend her to anyone!
I could not ask for a better attorney to represent me during my case which is Andrea Heckman. Anytime I had any questions, I got a response in a timely manner. Andrea walked me through a very difficult time which was a divorce/child custody case. Andrea is very knowledgeable and motivating. The staff has been nothing but welcoming and professional. If I have to go to court for anything, I will definitely be giving this firm a call again.
Heckman Law is handling my divorce/custody. Andrea is very professional, knowledgeable, and responsive. She will take the time to answer and explain any questions you may have. She usually responds within a few hours. Honest about possible outcomes, whether it’s good or bad news. My ex doesn’t want to negotiate or cooperate with anything. Andrea is willing to fight in the courtroom for you. The case is ongoing.
I was represented by Andrea Heckman, and if it wasn’t for her, I would have been so lost. She guided me through my difficult situation. Some lawyers are about money. I knew that Andrea cared about me and my situation.
Ms. Heckman is a great lawyer. She helped me get time with my daughter when my ex was being nasty and refusing to let me see my baby. I thank her for all her hard work.
Ms. Heckman managed our parents’ will and advanced care planning documents expeditiously, skillfully, and with compassion during a stressful situation. We referred her to a family member for divorce with child custody issues, and she was pleased enough to refer her to 2 others for divorce services. A true professional.
Please contact our law office in Rolling Meadows for legal assistance with divorce, child custody, or visitation issues. We serve clients in the Chicago metropolitan area who need the help of an experienced and dedicated family law attorney.